Mean Persians: The Purim Musical is a new and original retelling of the Megillah, built around parodies of the insanely catchy songs from the hit Broadway musical Mean Girls.
Find out whether Mean Persians is the right Purim spiel for your congregation!
"Where are the corny jokes? This dialogue is really good... it's genuinely funny."
"...a very theatrical script. If it weren't a musical parody, it could almost be produced on the stage (not just in shul)."
"These characters are so full of personality that they jump off the page. I love Bigtan!"
If your questions aren't answered below, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Q: How many characters are in Mean Persians?
Mean Persians features 5 lead roles, 4 supporting roles, and a large ensemble of 10 or more. One of the supporting roles is non-singing, making it ideal for a cameo by clergy or staff.
Q: How long is the show, and how many songs are there?
The running time will be roughly an hour (50 to 60 minutes), in two acts without intermission. The script includes 15 song parodies, most of which are shorter than the songs they were based on.
Q: How mean is this story? Is Mean Persians offensive to Persians?
Only to Haman! The story is never mean-spirited. It’s got snarky humor, some delightfully didactic teaching moments, and a bit of new midrash in which Esther and Mordechai are helped by the Persian friends they've made, including Vashti.
Q: Can Mean Persians be performed by children under 13?
The lead and supporting roles in Mean Persians are not recommended for cast members who are 13 or under. The dialogue and lyrics were written to be performed by grownups or older teens. The lead roles of Esther and Ahasuerus, and the supporting role of Harbona, would be particularly suitable for teenaged cast members.
Q: Is Mean Persians family-friendly?
We think so! It is based on the Book of Esther, with reverence and attention to detail. There's no suggestive material – not even at the king's harem. In the spirit of Purim, there is a party scene that includes excessive drinking by the king. If you find any material that you feel may not be right for your congregation, please tell us, and feel free to make any revisions you like.
Q: For those of us who don't know the songs from Mean Girls, how can we learn them?
Q: Is sheet music available?
The Broadway show has not released its sheet music in published form, but we are able to provide sheet music (transcribed by ear) for most of the songs in Mean Persians, and we expect to be able to provide a complete set in the near future. The sheet music, as available, will be included as part of the package.
In addition, a collection of solo piano accompaniments can be found as a playlist here, and will also be provided in downloadable form. For several of the songs, full instrumental karaoke-type backing tracks can also be found here.
Q: How does Mean Persians tie together the traditional Purim story and Mean Girls?
Mean Girls: A teenage girl raised overseas has moved with her family to America. In the foreign environment of her new high school, she faces the ultimate mean girl – a vicious queen bee who dominates the school! With the help of some unusual new friends, she turns her world upside down, finding the confidence and power to bring down Regina and her clique.
Mean Persians: A teenage girl raised in Judea has moved with her uncle to Shushan. In the foreign environment of her new home at the palace, she faces the ultimate mean Persian – the king’s vicious advisor, who dominates the kingdom! With the help of Mordechai and some unlikely Persian friends, she turns her world upside down, finding the confidence and power to bring down Haman and his army.
Q: Can we see what the script is like, before we commit to it?
Yes, you can sample several complete scenes and song lyrics here:
Q: What does my congregation receive if we order Mean Persians?
You will receive access to the following downloadable items:
- The complete script of Mean Persians: The Purim Musical, in both Word and PDF formats
- A reduced edition of the script, carefully abridged for congregations that need a shorter running time
- Backing tracks (piano and/or full instrumental) for each of the songs
- A graphic file of the Mean Persians pink carpet logo, in both JPG and PNG formats, for your use in promotional material
- The Mean Persians Production Guide, in both Word and PDF formats – a director’s guidebook containing character and set descriptions, a list of props needed for each scene, suggestions for doing sets and costumes on a dollar-store budget, and a few suggestions for how to stage the show on a bimah or other non-theatrical space
You'll also get access to a discussion forum where congregations that have chosen Mean Persians can share ideas and information, and ask the author any questions you may have.
Of course, your organization also receives our license to make an unlimited number of copies of the script for use in its production, and to modify the script to suit your needs.
Q: How do we contact you?
You can email our dedicated Mean Persians team at email@example.com.
Q: What will it cost to order Mean Persians?
When you order Mean Persians, we request a donation to Congregation Beth Or in the recommended amount of $180. Make your online donation here – please select "The Natan Luehrmann-Cowen Junior Choir Endowment" from the menu, and request a donation notification to firstname.lastname@example.org.
In addition, after your show, we sincerely request that you send us a video. We would love to see what you do!
"Apex Predator"(inspiration for "The King's Top Minister" in Mean Persians)
"I'd Rather Be Me"(inspiration for "You'll Have to Kill Me" in Mean Persians)
"Sexy"(inspiration for "Greeky" in Mean Persians)
Mean Girls at the 2018 Tony Awards
"Stupid With Love"(inspiration for "New Kid in Love" in Mean Persians)
First Look: Mean Girls on Broadway
Notice & DisclaimerMean Persians: The Purim Musical is a not-for-profit educational presentation and is not associated or affiliated in any way with Mean Girls, or with the creators or owners of rights in any element of Mean Girls. No copyright is claimed regarding Mean Girls or any element thereof. Original elements and transformative work are copyright © 2019 by their author. All rights reserved.