The Purim spiel inspired by Mean Girls, the hottest musical on Broadway
Available for your congregation now!
(Order before Rosh Hashanah for a 50% off discount!)
Mean Persians: The Purim Musical is a new and original retelling of the Megillah, built around parodies of the insanely catchy songs from the hit Broadway musical Mean Girls.
Find out whether Mean Persians is the right Purim spiel for your congregation!
"Where are the corny jokes? This dialogue is really good... it's genuinely funny."
"These characters are so full of personality that they jump off the page. I love Bigtan!"
If your questions aren't answered below, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Q: How many characters are in Mean Persians?
Mean Persians features 5 lead roles, 4 supporting roles, and a large ensemble of 8 or more. One of the 4 supporting roles is non-singing, making it ideal for a cameo by clergy or staff.
Q: How mean is this story? Is Mean Persians offensive to Persians?
Only to Haman! The story is never mean-spirited. It’s got snarky humor, some delightfully didactic teaching moments, and a bit of new midrash in which Esther and Mordechai are helped by the Persian friends they've made, including Vashti.
Q: How long is the show?
We give you two versions of the script – you decide!
The complete version has a running time of roughly an hour (50 to 60 minutes), in two acts without intermission. Most songs from Mean Girls are included. With minimal costumes and dollar-store props, your congregation can easily perform this show on the bimah, or stage it theatrically in a social hall or auditorium.
The express version runs roughly 30-40 minutes, and can optionally be performed without costumes or props.
Use either script as is, or customize your own version to suit your congregation and your performers.
Q: Can Mean Persians be performed by children under 13?
Roles in the ensemble are suitable for all ages. Lead and supporting roles should be performed by grownups or teenagers, and are not recommended for children under 13. This is because the dialogue and lyrics are written above a young child's reading level.
Q: Is Mean Persians family-friendly?
Yes! It is based on the Book of Esther, with reverence and attention to detail. There's no suggestive material – although in the spirit of Purim, there is a scene that includes excessive drinking by the king. If you find any material that you feel may not be right for your congregation, please tell us, and feel free to make any revisions you like to the script.
Q: Is sheet music included for Mean Persians?
Yes! We provide sheet music in the form of a full piano/vocal songbook for Mean Persians.
We've matched our parody lyrics to the original vocals, and in most cases, you'll find that the Mean Persians lyrics match up perfectly, syllable for syllable. (If you need a song transposed to a different key, we can provide transposed sheet music for you, at a small charge per transposition.)
Q: Are backing tracks available?
Yes! Piano accompaniments or full karaoke-style instrumentals are also provided to you as part of the package.
Q: For those of us who don't know the songs from Mean Girls, how can we learn them?
To become acquainted with Mean Girls, we highly recommend the original Broadway cast recording, which is available in all the usual places, including free streaming on Spotify and YouTube. (To see some of the videos, scroll down to the bottom of this page.) For the official published sheet music from the Broadway show, a book of vocal selections is available on Amazon and elsewhere.
Q: How does Mean Persians tie together the traditional Purim story and Mean Girls?
Mean Girls: A teenage girl raised overseas has moved with her family to America. In the foreign environment of her new high school, she faces the ultimate mean girl – a vicious queen bee who dominates the school! With the help of some unusual new friends, she turns her world upside down, finding the confidence and power to bring down Regina and her clique.
Mean Persians: A teenage girl raised in Judea has moved with her uncle to Shushan. In the foreign environment of her new home at the palace, she faces the ultimate mean Persian – the king’s vicious advisor, who dominates the kingdom! With the help of Mordechai and some unlikely Persian friends, she turns her world upside down, finding the confidence and power to bring down Haman and his army.
Q: Are there roles to accommodate a variety of ages and genders?
The ideal cast will include a mix of teenagers and adults. For teenaged cast members, the lead roles of Esther and Ahasuerus would be particularly suitable, as would the supporting roles of Harbona and Tzeresh.
The roles of Bigtan, Tzeresh, and Harbona were specifically written with gender-neutral casting in mind. These characters can be played as male or female, with little or no change to the script.
Q: Can we see what the script is like, before we commit to it?
Yes, you can sample several complete scenes and song lyrics here:
Q: What does my congregation receive if we order Mean Persians?
You will receive the following downloadable items:
The complete script of Mean Persians: The Purim Musical, in both Word and PDF formats
The "express" edition of Mean Persians, a carefully abridged script for congregations that need a shorter running time
Downloadable karaoke-type backing tracks for each of the songs
Our piano/vocal score for Mean Persians
A graphic file of the Mean Persians pink carpet logo, in JPG and PNG formats, for your use in promotional material
The Mean Persians Production Guide, in both Word and PDF formats – a brief guidebook containing character and set descriptions, a list of props for each scene, ideas for doing sets and costumes on a dollar-store budget, and suggestions for how you can stage the show on a typical bimah!
You also receive access to the Mean Persians Production Forum, an online discussion board where congregations that have chosen Mean Persians can share their ideas and production tips with each other, and with the author.
Q: How do we contact you?
You can contact our dedicated Mean Persians team – in other words, you can email me – at email@example.com. Before or after you order, I'll gladly answer questions and will remain available to you throughout your production.
Q: Sounds great! How do we order Mean Persians?
This Purim spiel was written out of love for Judaism, Purim, and Mean Girls, and not for profit. I receive absolutely no personal gain or benefit from Mean Persians or from your donation.
When you order Mean Persians, I request a charitable donation made directly to Congregation Beth Or in the recommended amount of $180 – only $90 if you order by Rosh Hashanah!
If you make your donation before Rosh Hashanah, please accept this 50% discount as thanks for your early commitment!
To make your online donation, click here – please select "The Natan Luehrmann-Cowen Junior Choir Endowment" from the menu, and request a donation notification to firstname.lastname@example.org. For even faster fulfillment of your order, forward your email receipt for the donation to email@example.com.
And one more thing: after your show, I sincerely request that you send us a video. We would love to see what you do!
"Apex Predator"(inspiration for "The King's Top Minister" in Mean Persians)
"I'd Rather Be Me"(inspiration for "You'll Have to Kill Me" in Mean Persians)
"Sexy"(inspiration for "Greeky" in Mean Persians)
Mean Girls at the 2018 Tony Awards
"Stupid With Love"(inspiration for "New Kid in Love" in Mean Persians)
First Look: Mean Girls on Broadway
Notice & DisclaimerMean Persians: The Purim Musical is a not-for-profit educational presentation and is not associated or affiliated in any way with Mean Girls, or with the creators or owners of rights in any element of Mean Girls. No copyright is claimed regarding Mean Girls or any element thereof. Original elements and transformative work are copyright © 2019-2023 by their author. All rights reserved.